LEAD WITH YOUR HEART & TRUST YOUR GUT

The news that you’re pregnant is life-changing and very exciting to share with our friends, neighbors, families. Ideally, your band has a loving and supportive vibe and your team has your back. We always hope that our friends and colleagues will be thrilled and supportive, but people are complicated, and business can be too.

Check out these tips for the breaking the big news to your music collaborators & business partners.

Consider Your Collaborators

Who will be impacted by your pregnancy? The answer will vary on your particular circumstances. Are you a side-musician or band leader? Are you about to launch a major release, or are you in the process of writing your next album? Understanding what your pregnancy means to the business of the music project will help you prepare for the conversations with your collaborators.

Breaking the News to Your Bandmates

People love babies! It’s likely that your bandmates will be thrilled, and also have questions. To ease any concerns, come to the conversation ready with an idea of how you want to handle the logistics. For example, if you’re the band leader you may need to adjust the touring schedule to make space for your maternity leave. If you’re a support musician or hired-gun there’s more flexibility. The band can hire a sub for tours or other critical business obligations scheduled for late in your pregnancy or during your expected post-birth recovery.

Telling your bandmates should be the fun part! If it turns out that you don’t feel supported, you should do some deep thinking about whether to keep investing your time into the project. It will not get easier when you have a baby.

Breaking the News to Your Manager

Managers should be able to help with planning around your pregnancy. Remember that managers are hired to grow the business no matter the challenges or opportunities that present themselves. A good manager should be able to help think through the logistics and priorities. Make them a partner in adjusting your touring and recording schedules, and creating your maternity leave plan.

Breaking the News to Your Booking Agent

The sooner you tell your booking agent, the better. Enlist your Booking Agent in planning around black-out dates and creating more pregnancy-friendly routing and riders. Consider what you’re willing to do while pregnant and when you will need breaks.

A few examples:

• On certain weeks, you will need to be home for regular maternal care and check-ups.
• Shorter drives become essential on tour if you’re touring pregnant.
• Air travel is not recommended beyond 36 weeks of pregnancy.
• By 38 weeks, you will want to stay close to your doctor and hospital.

This might feel like a big deal, but it’s really just a few months and can be summarized as a few restrictions and black-out dates. (Find more tips for touring while pregnant here)

Breaking the News to Your Record Label

Telling your record label you’re pregnant may be the trickiest of all the talks. If you have a manager, let them handle sharing the news with the label. If not, consider what impact your pregnancy will have on upcoming releases, tours, and promotions and time your announcement carefully.

In an ideal world, it wouldn’t be an issue, but the reality is that there are still roadblocks to clear on how the music industry perceives musicians and measures the risk of investing in them. You will want to re-assure the label that you’re still committed touring, promotions, and any other contractual obligations. This is especially true if they have made a significant investment in the project and you’re a critical member.

Consider what point you’re in with negotiations or your album release schedules and what impact the news might have on how that shakes out.

AND FINALLY… CONGRATULATIONS!

Have tips of your own to add? Have more questions? Drop me a line or let me know in the comments!

Keep on making that music, Mama!

Love always,

Ani

Disclaimer: I share my story and hope that it’s helpful, but I’m a musician – not a physician. Every person, baby, and pregnancy is unique.  Please consult with your doctor on what is right for you and your baby.

Hey, Mama.  Do you feel like you don’t have enough time for your music lately? Here are 10 tips to help you find the time for keeping up your craft and creative output. 

As musicians and parents, time can become a very scarce resource. Sometimes it’s hard to see how to fit it all in. I’ve been through the struggle and I’m here to help with tips for making music consistently after becoming a mamá. No matter what stage of parenting you’re in, there’s always a way to make it work.

Here are ten things to consider when you’re feeling short on time for making music.

1. Set a Schedule

Identify some windows of time you have available and make it standard to use those times for music.  For example, you may find a few hours during nap times, after kid bedtime, or on specific days dedicated to music while someone else watches the kid(s).  If you work/rehearse from home, it may be that you need everyone to clear out for an hour or two on a given day or consider additional child care. See my article with tips for affordable Baby Sitting If you are consistent about it, you will find it easier to maintain, as it becomes part of the family routine.  

2. Don’t Talk Yourself Out of It

There may be a voice in your head that says you are too tired, or you should do the dishes or throws any other myriad of obstacles in your way. Commit to showing up anyway and put it the work. You don’t have to have a brilliant inspired session every time, but you do need to show up for yourself.  And if you’re feeling guilty, remember that making time for yourself is essential for your mental health, which is ultimately good for the whole family.

3. Understand Your Goals

Consider what it takes to make you feel fulfilled as a musician, and what your current commitments are.

Are you a band leader who is also engineering an album? Are you a side musician in several bands? Do you lead a band and sometimes work as a side musician? Do you need to pay your bills with music, or do you have a day job or some other way to pay the bills?  Depending on the answers, your needs will be different.

Some musicians need to be playing lots of gigs. Others would rather have a day job and make their original music even if it’s not as reliable an income. As a drummer and songwriter/band leader, I’ve had periods in my life where I’ve been in two or three bands at once. Some paid the bills and some had my heart.  There have also been times where I’ve decided to stop all my side-musician work and focus on my solo project because it needed my full attention. The important thing is to figure out what your musical priority is, and to make sure you’re holding space for it.

4. Prioritize Your Passion

Making time for music means letting some other things go.  Don’t let un-important things steal your time.  Only you can decide how that looks in your life.  For example, I rarely watch television and I only go to the movies a few times a year. If I have a few extra hours, I would rather spend them making music. It’s ok to not do all the things.

5. Get Your Gear In Order

Having all your gear ready to just switch on and start playing is a huge help. You don’t want to spend your precious music time fiddling with cables and equipment. If you don’t have a dedicated space for making music, do what you can to optimize your setup and break down time. This will help you maximize the time spent playing or creating. 

6. Declare Your Deadlines

I find it helpful to set goals to work towards.  It might be a release date, or a date by which I will have completed some other creative project or task related to maintaining my music business.  Setting deadlines, writing them down, and talking about them with friends goes a long way to keeping me motivated and accountable. Once you have a big goal set, break down the little steps to get there and make sure you’re making progress each week. 

7. Stretch Your Timelines

Understand that the more plates you have spinning, the longer things take.  If it used to take you six months to complete an album, with a kid it might take a year or more.  Adjust your expectations, and be gentle with yourself if you have to give yourself multiple extensions.  As a songwriter, I used to aim for an album release every other year.  Now, it takes me about one year to write the songs, one year on production, and one year on marketing. 

8. Know What Season You’re In

There will be moments where you need more time for your music. If you’re working on a new album, you might need extra focus and time to get it across the finish line. When you’re rehearsing for a tour, you might need to spend more time on rehearsals. Make sure to let your friends and loved ones know what season you’re in.

I have long stretches of time when I see my friends less, and rely on my partner to do more of the heavy lifting at home. Good friends and partners will be understanding and support you, as long as you communicate.  My partner is also an artist, so we organically take turns with one of us focusing intensely on our projects and the other holding down the fort. When I finish a project or major milestone, I catch up with friends, lean into the household tasks and make time for “regular life.”

9. Simplify Your Life

A few years ago, I decluttered my life and was shocked by how much extra time it gave me each day. Streamline whatever you can to create more time for music and intentional living. There are countless ways to rescue time from your days. Banishing the clutter, automating your bills, creating routines, reducing commute times, stacking your tasks, and even wearing the same kind of clothes every day or cooking the same meals most weeks will save brain power and time.   

10. Keep Up Your Connections

It’s easy to get steamrolled by mama-life and become an accidental shut-in. Don’t forget to keep up with other musicians, and stay up to date on what’s happening in your music scene.  Networking is incredibly important in terms of keeping doors open and helping you find new opportunities. Make it a point to go to shows, and support other musicians. It will keep you motivated and inspired. If you can’t make it out right now, stay in touch by email or on social media. Even small gestures to stay connected can have a huge impact.  

Have a different idea that you recommend?  Share it in the comments! 

Keep on making that music, Mama!

Love always, 

Ani

Making music takes time, focus, and rehearsals.  Finding regular childcare is essential to allow for the space to be creative. Are you struggling to find childcare solutions? Read on and see if these options might work for you!

When my kid was turning one, I was desperate to find affordable childcare. I needed time to rehearse regularly with my band.  We didn’t have family nearby, my partner was also the drummer, and money was tight.  I did as much as as possible during nap times, but the sound of my voice would wake my son. I recorded demos, practiced guitar, and wrote arrangements at home, but we still needed time to play as a band.  Eventually, we found these three main childcare options let us rehearse without breaking the bank.

1. CHILDCARE TRADES

If you’re watching one kid, you might as well watch two! In our case, I met a family in an online neighborhood group who was interested in doing babysitting swaps. The mom was working on her graduate degree and also wanted some time to herself. The dad was super sweet and worked long hours so he wasn’t home as much. Their baby was 8 months old, so just a few months younger than ours.  We met for a few playdates until we were comfortable and confident in each other.  The boys loved each other and became very good friends. And so did the parents!  

It also made me more productive at rehearsals to not be watching the clock, stressing about a babysitting bill.

2. DAYCARE

Are you and your bandmates are free during the day? Scheduling a few days of daycare each week can help make space for writing and rehearsing.  Like many things in life, you can pay A LOT for daycare and there are also affordable options.

Definitely talk to your neighbors and friends to get recommendations.  At first, I was totally overwhelmed. Internet searches were returning private school prices for daycare – and we just couldn’t begin to afford it. I visited a few places that were in our budget, but I didn’t like the vibe. Our dream daycare turned out to be a block and a half away from our apartment. It was reasonably price and had a super loving and family-like vibe. One day, I was getting a slice at my local pizza parlor. I was telling the owner my troubles while I waited and he said oh, yeah – go across the street! He pointed to a door across the street with no sign that I had never noticed. Inside was a kid paradise, staffed by loving parents in a spotless and fully certified space.

3. HONORARY AUNTS AND UNCLES

We’ve all heard it takes a village to raise a child. It’s true. I’m so grateful for all the wonderful people who love my kid and are part of his life. My BFF is like a second mom to my son. Since we didn’t have family nearby, my BFF frequently pitched in to hang with the kid while we rehearsed. Often, we would drop him off at her place. This was more convenient for her because she could continue with whatever she had planned at home that night.  She would put our son to bed at her place and we would pick him up after rehearsal. 

I also had a few other close friends I could count on for 2-3 hour adventures. We would meet at the studio and they take our son on nearby outings while we rehearsed. Typical outings were to the park, out for a slice of pizza or ice cream, or just strolling around. Our kid enjoyed being taken on adventures and spending time with our friends. This gave us enough time to run a setlist for a show or work on a couple songs.  

Asking for help takes some getting used to. The more often you do it, the easier it gets for everyone!

Remember every other parent is figuring out too.

It can feel overwhelming sorting out childcare, especially when family isn’t an option. Remember that there are loads of working parents that figure it out every day and you can too!  Talk to your friends and neighbors. Stay flexible about when and how you rehearse. Be open to asking for help. You’re bound to find options that works for you!  

Have a different idea that you recommend?  Share it in the comments! 

Keep on making that music, Mama!

Love always, 

Ani

Are you considering taking your brand new baby (6 weeks -3 months old) on your next music tour? Read on to find out what you’ll need to consider and practical tips for making it easier.

Taking your newborn baby (6 weeks-3 months old) on tour might not be for everyone, but it’s not impossible.  I took my son on a west coast tour at 5 weeks old.  I had planned for him to be 6 weeks old by then, but he was a week late. We flew with Pistolera from NYC to San Diego and toured up the coast and had a fantastic time. Yes, it’s a little hard core – but somehow for me, it also felt totally natural. 

When I told Pistolera I was pregnant, we already had our anchor dates booked for a fall tour. There was a discussion of whether they would get a sub-drummer for the tour, I offered – “What if I take the baby and bring Chris (my partner) to watch him while I’m on stage?” 

And so we did!

Essentials For Touring With Your Infant

• Supportive Bandmates: Touring with an infant definitely changes the tour dynamic.  There are inconveniences that come with having a baby along.  Beyond the occasional crying, there will be more frequent rest stops for diaper changes and breastfeeding, and other adjustments to accommodate a baby on tour. It’s important that everyone is on board with the idea. 

• Back-up Caregiver: A partner, trusted friend, or rock nanny who can travel with you to care for the baby while you’re on stage and be your back-up when you need support in caring for the baby.

• Space and Budget: You’ll need room in the van and the budget for two additional humans. Make sure you have clearly communicated expectations for how this additional expense will be handled.

BONUS POINTS: An easy-going pediatrician is less critical, but it’s definitely nice to have the support!

Don’t Mind the Naysayers

• Some people will think you’re out of your mind. This is fine. If you feel confident and supported by your band and/or touring team go ahead and do it.  This will not be the last time you are judged for your particular parenting decisions.  Might as well start getting used to it!

• Trust Yourself: In all seriousness, getting to take your baby with you means that they will always be with you except for when you’re on stage for soundcheck and the show. You’re going to be sleep deprived regardless, so why not do what you love at the same time?

Keep It Short

• Consider this a trial run for touring with your baby. Part of the reason I felt confident to bring my baby along was that it was only about 7 days of shows.  This felt like a good length to try it out. Pick a length that you would think of as very easy if you didn’t have the baby with you. That way, even if it’s harder than you expected, you will also be able to take comfort in that it will be over soon!

Schedule Your Doctor Visits 

• Pediatric Check-ups: Typical infant wellness visits happen at two weeks, 1 month, 2 month, 4 months, 6 month, 9 months, and 12 months. Make sure to keep up with these visits.

• Postpartum Check-up: You will also need to schedule a postpartum check up for 4-6 weeks after birth and then regular check ups as advised by your doctor.

Breastfeeding and Bottle Feeding

• Practice In Advance: I’m all for breastfeeding whenever possible.  At the same time, if you plan to take an infant on tour, I highly recommend you practice feeding the baby with a bottle BEFORE your first show.

• You need a back-up plan: I breastfed the baby about 30 minutes before going on stage but he got hungry again about an hour into a 90 minute show. I had also pumped extra breastmilk and the plan was that if the baby got hungry, he could have a bottle. I came off stage to a loudly wailing baby and a very flustered Papa.

• Learn from my mistake: We learned on the first night that breast-fed babies don’t just automatically know how to feed from a bottle, even if it’s your breastmilk, and even if they’re very hungry. 

• Drive Times and Feedings: Breastfeeding means a 4 hour drive turns into a 6 hour drive. You should plan on 45 minute stops every 2 hours for breastfeeding.  Looking back, it would have been very convenient to have the option of feeding the baby while he was in his car seat, especially on longer drive days.

Sleep Where and When You Can

• Go To Bed ASAP: There will be plenty of times to stay up late talking at the after party in the future.  Right now, remember that you’re still recovering from giving birth and need your rest. Do what it takes to get yourself to bed as soon as possible after the show.

• Take naps whenever possible: Try to sleep on the drives and whenever you have a break. If it’s a late show, consider taking a nap in the van before stage time.

Van Travel

• Infant Car Seat: Check out the specifications of your infant car seat and make sure it’s compatible with your touring vehicle.  In some older models of vans, you might need a clip or accessory to secure the car seat properly. Get those details handled in advance.

• Car Window Shades: Consider bringing stick-on window shades to block direct sunlight.  It will help your baby sleep better and help protect their skin from harsh sun.

• Toys and Entertainment: For very young babies, they really just want you. You can keep any toys simple and small. For example, a fabric book, a rattle, and a small stuffie.  As they get older 4-6 months, they will be awake more often and you can bring a few more things to keep them distracted. By then you will know what their favorites are! 

Traveling By Plane

If you’re traveling with your infant on a plane, the process of getting through security and onto the plane can be the most stressful part of the trip. 

• Get There Early: As a new mom, if you are like me, it will take you longer to do basic things. Give yourself extra time to get through security.  It’s much better to be bored at the gate than stressing that you won’t make it.

• Check Your Bags: The less you have to carry, the better. Checking your bag means you can carry a diaper bag and the baby. Most US Airlines will let you check a stroller and car seat for free.

• What to Wear: You’ll want a comfortable outfit, and the more hands-free you can be, the better. Imagine going through the security line with a baby strapped to you in a carrier, or next to you in a stroller.  Make it easy on yourself.
  • Slip on shoes (with socks), pants with pockets for your boarding pass and ID.  
  • Sweaters and jackets with zippers vs the ones you have to pull over your head. 
  • Consider a fanny-pack on your hip instead of a purse 

• Liquids Are Allowed: If you’re traveling with a baby, you can bring breast milk, water, and any other liquids required for the care and feeding of the baby.  Keep any milk or liquids together in a small soft-sided cooler or in your diaper bag.  The TSA might swab the bottles or do a secondary security, but don’t fret – it will be fine.  You can read up on the TSA rules (for travelers in the US) here.

• Reserving a Seat: I recommend selecting a window seat on the plane. They’re a little more private for breastfeeding and you don’t have to watch out for carts or people brushing against you and the baby in the aisle.  Have your partner or tour nanny sit next to you for extra support.  

• Take-Off and Landing: The air pressure on take-off and landing can sometimes cause discomfort in a baby’s ear.  Nursing your baby during take-off and landing helps. It’s the sucking and swallowing that relieves the pressure. A pacifier can also provide some relief if the feeding schedule doesn’t align.

• Pack a Change of Clothes: Keep a change of clothes for the baby, and an extra shirt for you in the diaper bag. It could come in very handy in case of a major spit-up situation.

• Diaper Changes: Bathroom lavatories have fold down diaper changing tables. The space is awkward and there’s nowhere to put your diaper bag. Leave the bag at your seat and take just the baby, one diaper, the changing pad, and wipes.   

Baby Yourself Too

Don’t forget to take care of yourself.  Stay hydrated, eat well, and don’t try to do much more than take care of your own needs, baby’s needs, and play the shows.  On this first tour, I was still on lifting restriction from a c-section.  My partner would set up the drums for me and break them down after the show.  I accepted help carrying my luggage, and appreciated first dibs on the best bed.  Let people care for you in big and small ways.  Remember that you’re still recovering too.

Planning to tour with your baby? Have questions or tips of your own? Drop me a line! I’d love to hear from you.

Keep on making that music, Mama!

Love always,

Ani

Disclaimer: I share my story and hope that it’s helpful, but I’m a musician – not a physician. Every person, baby, and situation is unique.  Please consult with your doctor on what is right for you and your baby.

Yes! You can tour while pregnant! Pregnancy presents some very specific challenges for touring musicians. But don’t worry, you can do it! Read on to get ready for the road.

I spent most of my second and third trimesters on a scrappy US tour, traveling the country in an Econoline van with my band Cordero. I wasn’t sure what to expect because this was definitely not covered in the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” book. At the time,  I also didn’t know anyone else who had toured pregnant. But I had a new album to promote and I was determined to continue my music career.  

That was quite a year, and there are so many things to say and stories to tell.

For now, I’ll share a few things to consider if you’re planning to tour while pregnant.

1. Breaking the News to Your Music Partners

We all hope that our friends and colleagues will be thrilled and supportive, but people are also complicated and business can be too. Figuring out how to break the news to the people in your life who are impacted will depend on your own set of circumstances.  My personal advice is to lead with your heart, but trust your gut too.

Bandmates: In my own case, telling my bandmates in Pistolera and Cordero was the easy/fun part.  Both bands were super supportive and excited for the baby. I hope that your band has a loving and supporting family vibe. If you don’t feel supported, you may want to do some deep thinking about whether you want to keep investing your time into it. It will probably not be easier or better post-baby.   

Managers & Booking Agents: Cordero’s agent was also supportive and happy that I was still down to tour. We focused on the logistics like setting an end date for touring and trying our best to keep the drive times reasonable. 

Record Label: I didn’t know how the label would feel about my pregnancy, so I just didn’t mention it. A few days into the tour, we arrived in Chicago and played a really fun show at Schubas. The show was packed and we rocked it. The label’s publicist and other fans and friends congratulated us on the show and I thought, Oh! It’s all fine!  

Then I saw the label owner’s look of disappointment when they saw my little belly and I confirmed I was pregnant.  It made me glad that I’d kept it under wraps. The album was manufactured and distributed, the national tour was booked, the press releases were sent, and there was no turning back now.  

You might have a different experience, but that’s how mine played out. No matter who your collaborators are, take the time to consider how to best break the news.  

2. Timing Your Tour Around Pregnancy

Target the Second Trimester: If you have flexibility on your touring window, the second trimester (14-26 weeks) is when many mamas feel their best.  In the second trimester you may start to feel your energy stabilize and that the nausea is not as bad.  In the third trimester, some things get harder as you grow larger. For example, by the end of my tour dates, I could barely reach my guitar because of my belly.  

Prenatal Check Ups: Make sure to schedule your prenatal check-ups well in advance so you can book the days that work best with your touring schedule. In the second trimester, appointments are typically about once a month. In the third trimester, prenatal care appointments get more frequent. 

End Dates for Tour: Talk with your doctor and be clear with your booking agent and/or manager about your end date for touring and shows. I toured up until I was 8  months pregnant.  At that point, I could barely reach my guitar because of my belly.  After that, I stayed in the city and I still played local gigs on drums with my other band, Pistolera until a few weeks before my due date.

3. Planning Your Drives

Long days on the road are part of touring life, but they can be extra uncomfortable when you’re pregnant. 

• • Try to keep drive times under 6 hours 
  • Wear comfortable clothes
  • Always wear your seatbelt
  • Drink plenty of water
  • Take breaks to walk and stretch

4. Eating Well

It’s especially important to eat well while you’re pregnant.  Most truck stops and fast food restaurants don’t have many good options. Instead, we stopped at grocery stores. It took a little longer to get off the highway, but it was worth it to have fresh fruits and vegetables on hand.   

My bandmates liked the ready-to-eat meals from the deli. I would get pre-washed/ready to eat boxes of spinach and make sandwiches with cucumbers, hummus or cheese. Try packing these extras on tour to make a mini kitchen on the road.

Van Cooking Packing List 

• Cutting board
• Small Cooler
• Serrated knife
• Vegetable peeler
• Small trash bags 
• Paper towels
• Plate
• Bowl
• Utensils
• Travel Mug
• Rubber bands or Clips (to close packages)

Bonus Tip: Most grocery stores also have clean bathrooms so they make really good pit stops.

5. Packing Pregnancy Safe Medicine

There are a lot of over the counter medicines that you can’t take if pregnant. If you regularly have bad allergies or headaches, or other medicines you normally take, make sure to check with your doctor before your tour and make sure you have any alternative medicines you might need in your toiletry kit. 

6. Finding Maternity Stagewear

Invest in stagewear that you can grow into and feel great in. My best friend made me custom dresses that stretched and grew with me.  It made me feel more confident on stage to have cute dresses that fit well.

And don’t forget about the shoes! You may also want to pack stretchy/comfortable shoes.  In my case, not only did my feet swell regularly, I went up a whole shoe size during pregnancy. 

7. Adjusting Your Expectations

Just like in most jobs, you might have to make some adjustments while pregnant. Instead of feeling bad that you can’t do everything, look for tasks that allow you to still do your part of the (off-stage) touring work and also take care of you.

Pause While Pregnant

• Don’t load heavy gear.  It’s not worth it.
• Don’t feel bad for needing to stay away from smelly places like the loading area if you’re feeling nauseous

Alternatives

• Designated driver
• Merch set up and sales post-show
• Settling up the accounting after the show

8. Planning Your Stays

If you’re a band on a budget, you might avoid spending money on hotels by staying with friends and fans.  If you can, do a little more advance planning to set up comfortable places to stay so you can be sure to have a proper sleep each night.  Let your hosts know that you’re expecting – they will likely  go out of their way to make sure you are extra comfortable.

9. Making a Maternity Leave Plan 

Build your Maternity Leave Fund: If you’re a full-time musician, keep in mind that there will be a few weeks or months where it may not be possible for you to gig or tour. Figure out how much you’ll need to be able to give yourself a maternity-leave and start building your maternity leave fund. That way you can focus on bonding with the baby and not the bills. 

Also, talk to your band(s) about what will happen while you’re on leave.  Will they hire a sub and keep playing out or touring without you? Will they pause and wait for your return? This will vary a lot by the role you play in the band and your particular circumstances.  But the point is communication is key! Talk it out.

10. Remember it Goes By In a Blink

While it feels like forever while you’re pregnant it actually goes by really fast.  Make sure to take moments to enjoy this unique experience and savor this special time.   And take lots of pictures!

Have tips of your own to add? Have more questions? Drop me a line or let me know in the comments!

Keep on making that music, Mama!

Love always,

Ani

Disclaimer: I share my story and hope that it’s helpful, but I’m a musician – not a physician. Every person, baby, and pregnancy is unique.  Please consult with your doctor on what is right for you and your baby.